a fuzzy weekend

3 Aug

I was up at 5 this morn, and settling into a meditation by 5.10! I have a meditation download on my ipod which  helps me focus. The calm, American accent gently whips my fuzzy disobedient thoughts, rounding them up like so many sheep. The ‘sheep’ disperse, unfocused- but the voice is there to reel them in to line. And this is good at this moment in my meditating life.

My weekend was rather fruitless. I neither exercised nor ate well. I seem to spend weekends running children to sporting fixtures-although soccer has been cancelled for so many weeks due to heavy rain and sodden grounds. The hockey is never cancelled.

I also  clean house and cook food. Yesterday, my friend, Nigella L, (love her!) told me (via;How to Eat) how to cook a simple vegetable soup. Even most of the fussy kids liked it.

I folded a treadmill full of washing, (yes  that is where the clean washing is thrown. I cant see it because the treadmill is behind the blue couch. I like not seeing it. Its nearly like it doesn’t exist).

Why it is me that does the mother-load of house work is a question that sets at me like a yappy dog. Is it by dint of my figure type, or the fact that I haven’t a ‘real’ job? I don’t even paint anymore as the family life grew too big and enveloped my ‘studio’, so I cannot say painting is what I do. People ask me  what is it I  DO?”.    I suss out their agenda (accomplished in the blink of an intuitive eye), I either tell them I’m a housewife, or I tell them I play tennis. I don’t play tennis I never have. But it is a reply I have found works for me in my defensive mode. I don’t know why I get defensive regarding the “what do you do” query. Maybe I feel personally and socially guilty at not having a ‘real job’.  Maybe I feel I do nothing of importance for the real world. I know, deep down, that being able to take care of my children is vital and also I am blessed that I am able to stay at home to do this. A large majority of people financially cannot do this. So maybe I feel guilty about that too!. I have friends who choose  to return to a ‘real job’ after staying at home with young children because a real job as easier. Being at home can be boring. Arm chewing boring. But still a blessing.

baby blessing

baby blessing

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