Tag Archives: mind-junk

anger, sadness, mind junk.

10 Aug

The other day a friend told me how great my skin was looking! Even I can see the subtle change in it; all because of the raw fooddiet. I am mostly going quite well. Last night for tea I made the family roast duck (my friend Nigella’s method) and potatoes roasted in duck fat and two huge salads. One salad was  grated carrot, beet, apple, zucchini with raisins and a scrummy dressing. The other was diced avocado with diced tomato, sprinkled with smoked maldon sea salt and beautiful olive oil. We all devoured the salad, except of course the self proclaimed carnivore, Rosie. She stuck to duck. I of course quite happily ate just salad. I felt satisfied and clean. Raw food is such a clean way to eat.

Of course I am still drinking coffee, but I only had two each day of the weekend.

I meditated this morning for about 20 minutes. My mind is still full of mind-junk. It revolves around personal power issues I have; i.e I don’t feel I have it. Power. I get angry, then sad and those two feelings tumble around in my mind and body. I know anger and sadness are basically fear.  I’m not exactly sure what the fear is, maybe power? 

I think life is in constant revision and in need of tweaking. Life  is a challenge and we are not meant to stay still. Have you heard the question (usually put to you in motivational articles) “If you could do anything and know you could not fail, what would you do?”,?.

 Well, I hear that and I think, I wouldn’t want to do anything because where is the challenge of that? If I couldn’t fail, what is the point?

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more raw food stories…

6 Aug

This morning I was up by 5 am, (un)dressed in my fluffy dressing gown, thick socks and then wrapped up in my green cuddly blanket. (It is winter, there is snow on the hills). By 5.10 I was meditating. The meditation felt okay, I managed fifteen minutes quite calmly. I am getting better at pulling my mind back from the brink of thinking . My head is a noisy space. It gravitates quite readily to rubbish-chatter. Mind junk.

After I had finished the meditation, I was on the computer for 30 minutes, doing ‘catch up’ stuff. ‘Tis a great time to do it, all in the house are generally sleeping. 

Then…I began shaping the bread that I had prep’d the evening before. I had let it rise overnight and It was amazing, filling the entire huge bowl. I had doubled the recipe, to 1kilo of flour with 20 grams of fresh yeast. Yes! so it really was huge. I should have risen it slowly in the fridge, but I had thought the winter house would be cool enough to slow the process down. From the dough I made twelve  man-sized fougasse.

The kids crept out by 7, in varying degrees of disarray. I think the hot bread smell bought them out-I didnt need to convince them to leave their warm beds. By the time Deane had dragged himself out, I was onto my second coffee and they were happily munching the hot bread. I was enjoying watching them eat my creation (to sound slightly arrogant?).

My raw food ‘diet’, went well. (Lets not mention coffee. I will deal with that another time). I chopped up two bananana’s with one pear, practically snorted it up. I must learn to slow down to eat.

 My family went their ways to school and work, while I put things away, washed dishes and all that other stuff which is considered neither school nor, work.

I dressed Princess Paloma and we headed out the door to my gym/her creche. The balance class was great. Tai chi, yoga and pilates really do it for me!. ‘V’ is quite good, injects a bit of humor into it. He was doing the darth vader, “I am your father..” voice to one of the music tracks. Bit of a laugh really.

After finishing, I met the two ‘J’s’ at Cubita. I downed a chi soy latte, which tasted ‘funny’, once again. I am beginning to think maybe its me that is changing and not the actual drink.hmmm. I only had 20 minutes with them till I had to get Paloma. She greeted me with open arms and a big smile as usual. She definately is not well, crusty nose, and bad mood. (Little kids seem to fall into illness really quickly). I took her home and she made her famous nutella sandwhich,ate bits of it, then trotted off to bed.

I, being pretty hungry, felt like bread, bread bread. But.. I didnt. I wanted to eat it smothered in chocolate, maybe melted cheese toasties or some other ghastly fat/over-tasty creation. However-I did not succumb. Hows that!. Instead, I had a fruit salad and some raisins. That held the hunger off for about one hour. Then, the food subject rose to the top of my mind so I thought that I had better get inventive (or I would be face first in the bread drawer).  I grated three carrots, a small beet. I put them together in a bowl in which I ripped up fresh spinach, threw in a handful of raisins. I made a dressing of cider vinegar, beautiful Olive oil, grated ginger, garlic, a touch of salt and unrefined molasses sugar. With a final wee drop of organic sesame oil the dressing was ready to go. It was a very very scrummy meal. I have left some in the fridge for the children. 

So, I am feeling a bit ‘pure’ and healthy.

However, it is not yet four pm.